Brief Encounter

2/1/07

You’d think shopping for bath towels was a fairly ordinary activity. Here I am on an ordinary afternoon, an ordinary grandmother, holding an ordinary bath tile close to the piles of towels, lost in consideration of which colour would look least garish or least boring, when I am unexpectedly interrupted.

“No, that’s not the right colour!”

A male voice cuts into my thoughts. I smile tentatively, wondering if he is an assistant though I know TARGET stores are not renowned for eager assistants anxious to guide bewildered customers. The clearly expressed words and rather loud voice belong to a dark-haired, baseball capped fortyish man who has a friendly face with a heavy five o’clock shadow surrounding a cupid’s bow mouth and a winning smile.

I look more closely at him, my face registering unspoken questions.

“I’m Jewish and I’m gay!” He announces this theatrically.

Unmoved, I say dryly, “So?” I pause. A sudden flicker of curiosity mixed with concern for him prompts me to draw him out further. I add, “I have several delightful gay Jewish friends.”

Caught off balance by my reply, the lively extroverted stranger regards me in silence for a moment. He recovers himself, seizes my bath tile and proceeds to hold it up to towels he thinks would be perfect, but I demur at each one, pointing to others I think would be better. He looks doubtful for a moment, but seeing the surreal nature of the dialogue we are in says quickly: “I can see you have good colour sense!” By now, guessing I won’t get far with the deeper issue, I’m wondering how I can escape without being unnecessarily discourteous, but he begins a long story without pausing for me to make my excuses and go. He tells me about his blossoming career in TV comedy and how he is to work with a famous TV megastar. Today he is here to buy some last minute props, bed valances, for the show which is to be recorded soon. He mentions TV actors and wealthy business men as if they were old friends, perhaps to impress me, but at this point, as each moment passes, I’m feeling more impatient than impressed. I spy a real shop assistant and direct his attention to her. As soon as he turns his head to speak to her, I slip away, heaving a sigh of relief.

Not finding anything in TARGET, I hurry to BIG W. Today I am not the last of the big spenders. Quickly I search out sheets and towels, turn into that aisle and……he’s here before me!

“Oh, not you again!” I blurt out. At that he looks up, not the least offended, and smiles, glad to see me. He speaks now as if we were long time friends. This time, I’m quicker to get away. Feeling a bit like the cartoon cat who is perennially escaping from the pursuing skunk, I hide, loitering in a distant aisle til I think he must have had time to finish. I sneak back, peep round the corner and…. he’s still there! This time, he has packets of valances on the floor around him, some opened, and some in his hands. He looks perplexed, but catching sight of me begins again to discuss the show he’s shopping for. Despairing, I throw in the towel, psychologically at any rate, and begin to feel sympathy for him.

“Of course I’m not gay,” he says. “I’ve got five children!”

In spite of myself, I want to argue that that proves nothing, but before I can speak, he’s naming well known male entertainment personalities, all married with children, “…but all of them are screaming queens, you know!”

At this point, noticing the time, I give up all thought of further shopping, and more poignantly, of talking with him. “My husband’s waiting for me in the coffee shop. I’ve got to go. I’m sorry….” I say, rather lamely. Privately, I am regretful as I’d like to continue now that the real issue has surfaced again.

“Oh!” His face falls. For a bizarre moment I wonder if he will invite himself along as I am aware of his longing for accepting connection. Attempting to ease the pain of separation, I ask which channel I should watch to see him and when it will be screened. He tells me, but adds carefully, “That’s if they don’t edit my scene!” He looks sad for a moment, but brightens. “Well, goodbye then. It’s been a really great pleasure to meet you!” I hasten away, smiling to cover my mixed feelings. He waves enthusiastically. “Goodbye! Goodbye!” Strangely, my heart is warmed………..